♥ Thursday, December 17, 2009 ♥
ISSUE #1: Finally i got out of this place!!!
i should stop .......
lending a helping hand to unworthiness people :)
STOP EJ ...... EJ... STOP ...... NOW!!!
you get nothing back in return :)
Dont wanna pin point!
No matter how well you treat them,
they wont share their lollis with u :)
their "straight forwardness"
their secretive action
their words
would hurt you a 1000x...
I don't like to think of myself as selfish,
however, observing the selfishness of others has really
caused me to sit back and reflect.
I gonna be 4va a blur sotong & stop being emo
nobody cares ....
they only take you for granted!!
EJ...
Start a new life & be independent........
Stopped singing @ 11:39 PM ♥
♥ Monday, December 14, 2009 ♥
Dear blog,
blogging time : 4.26am
I had a bad day. not just today,
but almost everyday.
Especially now, it's summer.
The heat is killing me
and the standing fan doesnt work at all!!!
I've been a very light sleeper for the past few days.
Can I whine? I feel like crying or throwing a tantrum.
I'm sleeping with the regular, bright,
bedroom light on for like 8 months.
By the time the light is off, the sun rises.
The sunrise in Brisbane is approx 5 am.
Initially, i'm not used to sleeping with the lights on
and it has been interfering with my sleep.
Sometimes, i dont get to sleep well
and feel slightly retarded the next day.
That's explain why i am feeling tired almost everyday
in brisbane because i got not enough rest.
"Most people should sleep in the dark
or in a dimly lit room.
The reason is that melatonin,
a natural hormone that our body produces
and which helps stimulate our going to sleep,
can be inhibited by bright light. "
I really miss singapore---my comfy room & bed.
I feel much better sleeping in the dark,
because it's less warm~~
I dont feel like expressing myself
for the fear of being judged
or not being able to use the right words
to express what's inside.
Why doesn't it bothers you as much as it did to me?
am i over-thinking?
I really really really hate myself
because i dont speak my mind.
Everyone is scolding me stupid
and asking me why i chose to go back so late.
Please!!!! stop asking me this question!!!!!
I dont feel any better too.
It's my first time not celebrating
my birthday with my family and friends.
I have made this decision
because i understand the feeling of loneliness.
Is it wrong to always think for others?
Where is the good karma?
Does true friendship exists?
I dont need anything in return,
i just want everyone to be happy.
Dad: "do others think for you too?
will they do the same things if it happens to you?
sometimes you have to be selfish , my dear.
You are here to study and not letting those things bother you."
xxx: "Is she with you during exams when u need help ?
Why are you helping her so much?
Is she doing her part as your friend ?"
I cannot breath anymore
everyone is aching
i'm feeling so hurt
other than telling it to my blog
there's no other place i can do it anymore
when will everything end
when will i have my internal peace
Life like is just like a game
no matter is love, relationship or friendship.........
Leave me.....
I'm in my own world alone!
Stopped singing @ 1:15 AM ♥
♥ Saturday, October 31, 2009 ♥
Hey guys,
I'm back to blog again :)
I hope i could get drunk everyday~~!! he will definitely scold me if he knows i'm drunk, or even give me a slap xD anyway, he's gone now. I want to go back singapore... cant wait to.. because i dont have to do everything by myself, someone will do it for me. I'm so troubled with the house. It's so f-ing hard to find one!! esp a gd and comfy hse.. i want to have a big table by myself or even a room? I dont want to come back brisy so early...... Why do i have to give in everything ? Why? Why do i have to care about how others feel? Why i dont have a mother who can help me decide on everything. I'm jealous.....cox i dont have a complete family! i hope my daddy can be here with me!!~!! my loves are leaving me one by one.. i cant lose my dad now. i gonna have depression soon~~ How i wish i could die now....
Stopped singing @ 5:45 PM ♥
♥ Thursday, June 25, 2009 ♥
exam ended!!!
just left with 1 formative tmr....
today paper was pretty easy ,
finished in 20mins ...
hopefully can pass... haha!
doesnt want to have too much hope.
3 more days. .... hui jia looo....
Stopped singing @ 9:17 AM ♥
♥ Wednesday, June 24, 2009 ♥
wohooo.. 4 more days to home:)
1 more paper on thur and oral on fri.
That's it...
Tmr is 2040 paper, not yet start my revision.
Too many things to study!!!!
Guess have to stay up late to chiong..
gonna endure this period.
Jia you all my brisbanies...
You all are smarter than me,
sure can pass with flying colours.
I may be going malaysia on 10 july..
depends on whether daddy to send me there
or my cousin will come singapore to bring me to KL.
And also, can get to see my popo in malaysia:)
Will be flying off to chiang mai on 14july-18july..
Finally i get e chance to go oversea with my cousins..
I have been putting their aeroplane since last time,
i missed the korea trip :(
Happy to have them in my life,
they have given me never-ending support and love.
They straight away book the air ticket
after me saying that i want to go.
Next oversea trip:
1) bali on nov?
2) taiwan with brisbanies?
Not confirm!!!
I wan to be happy and strong..
I wan to enjoy my life now.
I am trying hard to let it go,
things have started to change
and i realise it.
The feeling of me towards him =faded..
No point getting back,
because i will still have to come back brisbane
to continue my study.
The list of people that i want to meet when i'm back in sing!!! :
1) Jac & Shi yun
3) meow groups
4) Anne
5) Kit
6) Kinderbuneo
7) Uncle groups
8) Herman
9) Kai yen & Jod
11) Pri sch mates
12) Mei yu
13) mampo
14) YJ to KTV
15) germ for groceries shopping xD <3
16) Brisbanies to K.. <3<3<3
blah blah blah... anybody missed out ?
Rest of the time shall pei my family!!
cant wait to play my organ and piano,
cant wait to see everyone...!!!
Then fly off to malaysia and thailand!!
Stopped singing @ 7:24 AM ♥
♥ Monday, June 22, 2009 ♥
so far, all the exam is ok.
except 1010 :(
biom 2009 tmr,
hopefully i wont screw up.
i love parkinsonism, dementia, emotion..
but i hate the "receptor & drug" that section.
Sux, nth go into my head :(
may god bless me...
6 more days to home, finally.
Stopped singing @ 6:48 PM ♥
♥ Saturday, June 20, 2009 ♥
just hop out from my bed, it's 8am here.
Gonna study biom2009 today,
another massive subject.
Stomachache again... for like 3 days.
Germ & I planned to mass shop on next fri
to buy goodies back to singapore. :)
Still have no idea what to get for you guys.
Food ? Choco? any idea? nopex...
N have not got bd present for Wen.
Stopped singing @ 6:22 AM ♥
Ee Jia, Sheralyn